Humble...

Humble: [huhm-buhl] to make meek.

If anything will bring you to humility it is parenthood!  I am slowly learning to never say "I'll never" because inevitably I find myself doing things I never thought I'd ever do.

Case and point:

I bought my daughter a leash.  Seriously.  Devin and I thought these were so weird before we became parents...

Now that Finley has become Miss Independent, I have looked longingly at the parents using these "leashes" in the mall, at the zoo, etc.  So when I found one at TJ Maxx for $5, I decided it was worth a try and worth a test of my pride. =)

To say, Finley loves it (we named it Mr. Bear) is an understatement.  We've used it at the Arts Festival and the zoo when Finley was tired of the stroller as well as walking in the neighborhood.  Finley loves the freedom and we love not worrying about her running into the road, etc.  I did try to use it at the mall one day with absolutely no success...  it was a complete power struggle... me going one way and Finley going the other!  I'm sure we were a pretty comical act! =)  

Slowly, we are coming around to the fact that we may really be "those" parents.  I admit though I still totally cringe when she sees it, hugs it, and goes immediately to the door trying to put it on.  Too similar to our dog and real leash for me. Ha!  I wonder if this will come up in therapy sessions one day...

Mother's Day 2010 {Part 2}

More Mother's Day 2010:

Along with having a wonderful husband and daughter, I also have the BEST best friend anyone could ever have!!!!!!  Here is the Mother's Day card Beth made and sent me... though it didn't scan very clearly:

Front of the Card

Inside of Card

She is so amazing!!!!!  I do not know what I'd do without her!!!!!

Also, last year on Mother's Day, I started a Bible for Finley.  Throughout the past year, I have made notes in the margin each time I have come across something that I particularly wanted her to understand, ponder, obey, believe, etc. or anything that I felt God was showing me in regards to being her mother. Along with that, I also picked one verse to really focus myself on praying for her.  I pray for her constantly and have about a million tools that I use to pray His Word over her, but I loved the idea of each Mother's Day selecting one verse that would be my verse for her that year.  

I had picked out a verse about a week ago, but then on Friday, after running some errands Devin and I decided to pick up a pizza and cuddle on the couch after putting Finley to bed.  While Devin was paying for the pizza, I picked up his Bible that was in his car and came across Paul's prayer for the Ephesians....  It encompassed exactly what I wanted to pray for her this year. 

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."  Ephesians 3:16-19

What an honor it is to pray for her!  I can't wait to look back through this Bible one day when she is a mother and talk about how God answered my prayers and how He showed me His love through her!

Mother's Day 2010

So it's here again and I admit that Mother's Day is still hard for me...  It didn't get magically easier when I became a mother myself as I had hoped, but if anyone can erase the pain of not having my mom here, it is my sweet Finley.  And the best gift I could have been given this Mother's Day has been this past week with her.  After weeks of fighting sickness, her antibiotic kicked in and she has been her usual jabbering, hug giving, kiss blowing, ticklish, playful, loving, sweet-but-just-a-bit-stubborn self and we have had just an amazing time together.  Words cannot express how much I adore her or how much I adore spending time with her!

If I've learned anything this past year, it is that we serve a personal, loving Savior who cares about each of our hurts and renews us in our times of need.  I could sense myself dreading Mother's Day for the last several weeks... I just didn't want to face another one without my own mom to celebrate with.  On Tuesday, I was standing in line at Michael's when I noticed a big display of Mother's Day coffee mugs.  Right in the corner was one mug that didn't fit with all the others.  It was a Teacher's mug.  I haven't seen a Teacher's mug in so many years and yet there was a time in my life that we stopped every time we saw one.  My mom was a collector (I didn't inherit that gene for which Devin is thankful! Ha, ha!) and loved Teacher's mugs.  Not only did we search out unique ones, but so did her students each year.  It was always such a sweet accomplishment to find one that she didn't have. I couldn't help, but smile and say a prayer of thanks.  How could I make it without my sweet Heavenly Father who is constantly reminding me that I am loved and understood!?!  What a sweet gift to be given on a week that has been full of emotional highs and lows!

Obviously Mother's Day should be about what I do have in spite of missing my mom so let me say this:

My dear Finley, I love being your mother and am so grateful for this Mommy role you have given me.  I know you do not understand how much I love you and that makes me love you even more.  You have the amazing ability to make me want to pause time, go back in time, and skip forward time all in the same breath.  I find myself longing to hold your tiny swaddled body again while being completely taken with your current independent self while awaiting the day that we will have full, real conversations and shopping dates!  It's an amazing thing to be a mom, but it's so much more amazing to be YOUR mom and I love loving you every second of my life.  Thank you for giving me a reason to fully celebrate Mother's Day.... There's no one else's Momma that I'd rather be than yours and I thank God every day that He gave you to me!  Thank you (and your sweet Daddy) for such a wonderful Mother's Day week and weekend full of precious memories!  I love you in words and ways I'll never be able to fully express!