Time really is moving super fast these days. I'm afraid if I don't post updates every few months, I will totally forget what it was like at this stage of my life.
As much as I hate to be the Pollyanna-everything-is-wonderful-my-life-is-perfect kind of girl, things really are going so much better than I expected. When I went back to BSF, things got really crazy and had I not been going back for only a few weeks to finish out the year, I probably would have stepped down as a leader. Those weeks were very busy... busier than I would have liked and though it was rewarding, it was also exhausting and I am thankful for these summer months ahead when we can set our own schedule a bit more.
Jude:
Jude is doing really well. He is continuing to grow though his weight gain has slowed a bit, he is still in the normal range of weight gain each week and I think is currently going through a growth spurt. At this point, Finley plateaued on weight gain, so I am watching Jude like a hawk and am thankful that he is still gaining. He continues to be a really easy baby. There have been multiple times that we have forgotten he was in the room until he coughs or coos!!!! He still isn't on a real routine, but I am hoping now that our own daily routine is more consistent that he will get on one. Yes, I have become the laid back mother of two. It really is so much easier to be laid back the second go round. I am so anxious to see his personality develop! He is pretty happy, but also still kind of serious. He gives smiles and coos, but we have to work for them a bit. He is alert and observative, but still sleeps quite well despite commotion. He still prefers his milk source (aka Mommy) above everyone else, but does love his daddy and his sister! He still lights up around Finley and enjoys cuddle time with Daddy at night.
Finley is still a super sweet sister and is always concerned about where Jude is and what he's doing. I'll be honest and just say that every single day I am amazed at how well she is adjusting and how absolutely blessed I am to have such an easy time with her.
Her and Jude have speical time each morning while she holds him in the boppy and watches her cartoon. She also shares her toys with him and wants to make him smile and "talk." Two to three times a month, she'll have a definite jealous day where as soon as I'm giving Jude attention, she'll want me for everything. These days can be trying, but I am super thankful that they aren't more frequent.
Devin and I didn't really sit down and say "we want our kids to be 2.3 years apart" or anything like that, but I really believe they are a great distance apart. Finley can play well independently and I can "trust" her to a certain degree when I am changing his diaper/clothes/etc. She is also able to be occuppied for longer amounts of time so I'm not constantly having to come up with something new for her to do. One thing that has worked really well for her is when she wants me to play and I have something I just really need to do (feed Jude, fold laundry, start dinner, etc.), I'll set the timer and play with her for 15-20 minutes and then let her know that Mommy needs to "work" until the timer goes off again. It allows me to really spend some devoted time with her before I need to spend some devoted time on "life". I love that it helps me be intentional and not get too sidetracked from what I want my main priorities to be... her and Jude... and that it teaches her some self-sufficiency and the ability to play alone.
I am really enjoying being a mom of two. I definitely wanted another child, but was also scared that it would be difficult to juggle both of them. So far it hasn't been too bad, but I do fear that once Jude is more needy that it might be more of a struggle. There have only been a few times when both of them were really fussy at the same time where I felt torn as to what to do. Most of the time if Jude is upset, Finley is anxious for me to help him and when Finley is upset, Jude is relatively easy to occupy in a bouncy chair or playmat.... plus he still sleeps quite a bit.
Though Jude is sleeping really well (except for the past week), I am tired. I think the last several months of go-go-go has caught up with me and I'm wanting to sleep-sleep-sleep. I hate feeling this tired and hope it will pass soon. I don't feel like I've been very productive with my time (aka Finley's naps) because I'm usually so tired that it takes me an eon to get something done.
I also hate my body right now. My milk supply seems to be better when I am about five pounds over my normal weight. Five pounds, I know, isn't much at all and WELL worth it to keep my pumpkin fed, but I try to avoid all mirrors these days. I really hate that I don't have a better attitude about this. I know that I am very fortunate to be only five pounds over my goal weight and I also know that I'm incredibly fortunate to have a healthy baby that I can breastfeed. I want to be that mom who looks in the mirror and is like "I look great and just how I should post-baby!", but I'm not there yet and am not sure I'll ever be there. I try to keep these opinions to myself, but I also don't want to forget how I am feeling because one day, Finley may struggle with how she looks after pregnancy and I want to remember that I did as well.
Probably the biggest things I was worried about with adding another child were spending time with Devin, running errands, finances, and splitting my time between two kids.
Time with Devin is sometimes more difficult. It just depends on the day. Most of the time, both kids are pretty much in bed by 8 and we're able to have time together, but sometimes it works out that Jude needs to be fed right after Devin and I eat dinner and then half of our time is gone. Devin is probably the biggest reason why I do feel the need to get Jude on a better routine. It would be helpful if Jude's last feeding could more consistently be after Devin has fallen asleep. We'll work on it. I know that this is a season and that before long Jude will be down to just a few feedings at day and in his own room.
At the Library
Getting out and running errands isn't horrible with two, but it does take more time. Some days I feel up to it and other days I don't at all. The good thing is that I know I can do it and am able to do it when I need to. I usually shop with Jude in the Moby and Finley in the cart so that I can see her better and keep her in line. =) If I have to shop with Jude in his carseat carrier, I make it as quick as possible because Finley wants to see Jude and will often stand up in order to do so. I end up spending most of my time stopping the cart to enforce the sit down rule and that really isn't fun for any of us. Let's be honest, discipline in public is very different than at home. She isn't quite to the stage of understanding "Just wait until we get home" line so it definitely makes it frustrating at times. She does love the mall and since we have the double stroller, we go there often when we just need to get out of the house! =)
Financially, Jude hasn't changed much around here. We were sooooo fortunate to have been given a ton of diapers by Mary and a lady who works for Devin's dad. We have yet to buy diapers for Jude and since he is breatfed, we haven't had to pay for food for him either. As for clothing, I bought him some clothes before he was born and then we were obviously given some at showers and as hand-me-downs. For the most part, I shop for him at Gap and at times find him stuff at Old Navy and rarely at Target. At this point, he is definitely more expensive to clothe than Finley who I can easily find stuff for at Target. I am super picky about what I like on my little man, but have seen some really cute stuff that I can't wait for him to wear once he is crawling and walking.
As for splitting my time between both of them, right now it is pretty easy. Jude's naps give me quality one-on-one time with Finley and her naps give me some great one-on-one time with him. I admit that I am not getting to spend as much time with Jude as I'd like, but soon Finley will be in MDO again and I'll have those two days to spend with just him. Since he isn't a fussy or needy baby, I find myself often trying to get things done instead of just sitting on the couch holding him or playing with him on his play mat. Somehow I feel guilty for enjoying him instead of trying to clean, do laundry, or start dinner, but I am forcing myself to realize that just because Jude isn't throwing a fit doesn't mean that he doesn't need my attention!
Devin:
I don't really feel like I can speak for him, but Devin is doing well with the transition. He is such a great dad. He kept Finley a couple of weeks ago while Beth, Jude, and I were on Girls' Trip (more on that soon) and I was so amazed at how much he got done and how easy it had been for him. Finley loves her Daddy and is usually better behaved with him. He is definitely less lenient than I am! =) I love that she does respect him so much and hope that she always will.
He still gives Jude a bottle at least once a week and usually ends up changing his diaper and swaddling him when we go upstairs, but I know that his time with Jude is limited right now. I can't wait until Jude is toddling around and Devin is able to play catch with him.
Speaking of catch, Devin is playing softball with the church and I'm so thankful that he gets a chance to do something fun each week that isn't work or family related. We miss him, of course, but I know it's good stress relief for him! We tried to go watch one game, but Finley threw in all out tantrum when she couldn't go on the field with Daddy. I doubt we'll make it to another game after that experience!!!!
I truly hope I will remember these first months of Jude's life as rewarding ones. My New Year's Resolution was to do more by doing less and I'm still finding the balance in doing enough without doing too much!!!!
