Donuts with Dad

Finley and Jude had Donuts with Dad the week before Spring Break!  They were so excited to have Daddy taking them to school!  I snapped a quick picture of them before they left.  I just love these 3 so much!  It'll be so much fun for Evi to get to go with Daddy next year!

Here's what Finley made for Daddy in class:

 outside

 inside

upclose... pretty good answers!

And Jude made Daddy this tie:

So cute!

James 5:16

I probably shouldn't write this post today when the emotions are still so fresh, but in spite of still being shaky, I feel like I need to process it by writing it all down.

I was in a rush to get out the door this morning because enrollment was due at Jude and Finley's Children's Day Out program and I didn't want to wait in line all morning trying to drop it off.  I loaded the kids and as per our ritual, Finley sang "Good Morning, God!" and then I prayed over our day as we drove to the church.

Since Sandy Hook, I have been particularly mindful of the need to pray for their protection so I did.  I prayed for protection over the whole church and everyone inside.  Little did I know that God had already been answering my prayer.

I dropped Finley and Jude off, took care of their enrollment for next year, and went to work out.  As soon as I got home, I put Evi down for a nap and just as I was about to answer some emails, Kristin texted me.  She said "Did you get your kids?  Things like this makes me want to homeschool."  I immediately text her back to ask her what she was talking about and then she called me.

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"There was a gunman at First Pres this morning.  All the schools are on lockdown.  Everyone is safe.  I think they've captured him.  No one was hurt.  I got the alert from my girls' schools.  They didn't contact you?  Are Finley and Jude there?"

I just start bawling.  Kristin has to keep repeating "Everyone is okay.  They are OKAY."

She directs me to one of the news sites and I can't even comprehend that I'm reading about a gunman at my children's school.  Our church.  The place I go 5 days out of 7.

I call Devin in hysterics.  Telling him that they are okay, but that I'm going to go get them.  And he says he's on his way.

I try calling Melissa to see if she has heard anything.  No answer.  I call Danielle and poor Danielle.  I totally freak her out too, but in the midst of it, she stops and prays while we are on the phone together.  I am obviously not good in a crisis because I am just crying while Danielle is totally taking over and making a plan for us to meet up in the back church parking lot assuming that they have the school roped off or still on lockdown.

Devin calls me back and says he has talked to the church and that the gunman had left before the kids were ever in the building.  He assures me that they have caught the gunman and that the kids are fine and completely unaware of what is going on.

I call Danielle back.  Then talk to about 500 other people still trying to process what has happened.

We're all frustrated that we were dropping our kids off while the school was on lockdown and before the gunman had been arrested.  He could have come back to the church.  He could have come back when my kids were there.  It is beyond scary to think about.

Tonight my kids are safe.  They are happy.  They are oblivious.

I am still a bit of a wreck.  I can't seem to talk about it without crying.  I keep whispering to myself...

"The prayer of righteous man availeth much." James 5:16

Thankful that God hears my prayer and that He makes me righeteous when on my own I'm anything but.

Tonight I'm choosing to live by faith and not by fear.  It's so hard given the world we live in, but I am convinced that God is in control even when it feels like Satan himself is.

Not a Fixer...

Finley's having a hard time with school this year.  She's there right now and my eyes are filled with tears and my heart is beating a little faster than normal.  I'm anxious to go pick her up.  To see if this day was any better than those that have gone before.  She has only dawdled with separation anxiety over the past four years.... even as a baby she was always happy five minutes after I left and was never the one who was anxious for her mommy to pick her up.  This year has been different.

Preschool... wow.... it's been a tough transition for us.  She did pretty well the first day, cried nonstop for me the second day, was sick and grumpy the third day, missed the fourth day because she still had a cough, did slightly better the fifth day, and here we are on the sixth day.

I think there are lots of reasons for the difficulties we're having (and yes, I feel like I am going through this right along with her!  Ha!).  Preschool seems to equal less coddling and all of her friends moved either to Tuesday/ Thursday or moved up to Preschool 4's because their birthdays were before the cut-off.  Finley has always been fortunate to have friends at school... her first year she had half of her class in BSF with her as well.  We've always managed to know at least a few of those in her class.  My outgoing little girl has blossomed into a shy big girl who is sometimes easily intimidated by new situations.  Once comfortable she has the ability to capture those around her with the same smile and shining eyes that would stop strangers when she was little.  In time, I know that I will look back at these few weeks with a laugh, but right now, it's hard.

So I gave her one of my necklaces to wear to school.  To remind her that I'm always with her.  To remind her that I love her.  To remind her that she can do this.  We've talked about how I wear a necklace of my mom's for the same reasons and that it makes me feel better to have something of hers when I'm feeling sad or alone.  (One of my favorite Friends episode is the one where Joey buys Chandler a gold bracelet so that they can be bracelet buds.... I laugh a little bit thinking that Finley and I are necklace buds!)

I'm a fixer.  I kept thinking last week that maybe I should see if there was an open spot in another class... one that had her friends in it.  Or maybe I should just keep her home.  Or maybe I should call one of the moms and see if I could arrange a playdate with one of them so that Finley could get to know someone else in the class (and I still may do this....).

But I'm a mom.  And even though I want to be the fixer, I can't be.  Mom doesn't equal Fixer.  (Repeat over and over for the next 18 years...)

Mom equals believer...  believing that she can do this and doesn't need me to fix it.  It equals prayer warrior... even though I've been shamelessly full of anxiety and worry.  It equals equipper... the necklace, a cute outfit, and juice in the lunchbox helps any bad day, right?  It equals confidence builder...  writing down all the names of the classmates and practicing them over and over so that she can feel more prepared to make friends with them.  It equals cheerleader... cheering her on from the sidelines instead of jumping into the middle of the game.  It equals encourager... telling her how proud I am for doing something hard. It equals hope giver... sometimes we all just need someone to tell us there is hope when things are tough.

Truth is I really wish mom equalled fixer.  I don't know if I could even fix it if it did, but it's so tough knowing that my girl is playing alone on the playground or spending the day wishing she was somewhere else.

How in the world am I going to get through the first time her heart is broken if I'm bawling over preschool?

Sigh... then I just remember that God does the same with us.  As much as I want Him to just quickly fix the hard stuff in my life, He walks alongside me instead and gives me the ability to get through it.  He helps me learn and grow and wipes away the tears.  He loves me through it.  And so now it's my turn to do the same for my blue eyed girl who I can't wait to see in exactly one hour and twenty-six minutes.

Finley & Jude: A Comparison at 18 months

I found this picture of Finley the other day... this was her LAST day of MDO and Jude's FIRST day of MDO.  They are both 18 months so it's fun to see a comparison.  I still think they look similar, but there are definite differences!  So fun to see how my kids change over the years!

First Day of School 2012

Wednesday was the day!  Finley's first day of preschool and Jude first day of MDO.  I've been the typical mom and a bit emotional about both, but also thankful that I was leaving them in such good hands.

Taking pictures is always an adventure and trying to get them in while also packing up 3 kids by 9:00 a.m. is no easy task!  I also didn't want the morning to feel rushed or stressful to them which took extra effort on my part since it's hard not to be a bit hurried trying to take care of all the last minute details that go into any outside of our house adventure these days!  Thankfully, this was just a half day so I didn't have to also grab Jude's blankie and lovey or lunches for them!

Finley is getting to be pretty cooperative with pictures, but Jude is on the go.  He is also my serious boy so it is really difficult to get one of him smiling!

These was the best I could get of the two of them together!  It makes me smile because this is just so true to life right now!  I'm kind of glad that I wasn't able to get one of them sitting quietly side-by-side because that would be a total lie!

I love this idea off Pinterest, but thought I'd make it my own by putting Sonic gift cards in Sonic cups.

When we arrived at the school, Melissa had already dropped off Caden and since I had some stuff to give her, she offered to help me get the kids in.  It was so nice!  Especially since I had their teacher gifts in tow as well!

I think having Melissa also kept me from bawling!  It was nice to have a distraction.

As soon as I walked up to Jude's room, I could tell it wasn't going to be good.  Every single kid was screaming crying except one and Jude looked at me like "You're really going to leave me here?"  It was awful.  Kayde told me that when she dropped off Zoe that Jude was still crying so that didn't help, but thankfully, Melissa and I gabbed in the parking lot forever after drop-off and Jude's class came out in the buggies while we were out there.  I had to hide so that Jude wouldn't see me, but I could tell he was just fine and enjoying it.  And when I picked him up, he was all smiles and his teachers said he did just great!

At Finley's door, I purposefully let her walk ahead of me and go in.  I did blow her a kiss, but I just wanted her to feel confident about going in and not have a clingy mom to make her even more apprehensive.  I could tell she was a little shy, but she surprised me and just greeted her teacher and when in with no problem.  Her teacher sent us pictures of her day and it was obvious she was having fun.  Devin and I were particularly happy to see her pushing a little girl on the swings.  We loved seeing her being a good friend!  When I picked her up, she was so excited and told me all about her day.  It was so sweet to hear her and I could tell it had been a great time!

After naps, we celebrated the first day of school with a quick trip to the zoo.  We did this after Finley's last day of school this year and I decided to make it a tradition.  We used to get icecream, but I feel like I reward and celebrate too often with food! =)  The kids love the zoo and we don't go nearly as often as we should so it was a perfect ending to a perfect day!

That doesn't even look like Evi to me, but I feel bad that she goes all these places with us, but is never seen!  Ha!

Parent Orientation & Meet The Teacher 2012

 

After an amazing summer, it is time to get back into the swing of a real routine!  Part way through the summer, I really contemplated pulling Finley and Jude out of our current MDO and seeing if I could get them into one that was only one day a week.  I have soooo enjoyed this summer and just being home with my kids.  Devin quickly vetoed the idea of moving them and deep down I knew he was right.  We love our current MDO program and the last 3 weeks have reminded me that Finley really needs it.  She has done great all summer only going one day a week to MDO, but since the beginning of August, she has been a bull in a china cabinet!  She desperately needs an outlet that I can't provide at home!  She truly thrives at school!  Of course, I started bawling thinking about my little boy going to school this year, but it's time.

Monday night, Devin and I (and Evi, of course!) headed up to the school for Parent Orientation.  Devin and I smiled at the "new" parents who were asking all the questions we asked not so long ago.  We've come so far in the last couple of years and it is nice to walk in and feel like it's home.  We can't walk more than two steps without running into someone we know or having teachers calling out to us wanting to see Evi and ask how Jude and Finley are.  And I realize just how much I've missed "this" over the last few months.  I love being among those who know me and my kids so well!

Devin went to Jude's classroom while I headed to Finley's for the parent orientation part.  Finley is now out of the Mother's Day Out portion and into PRESCHOOL!  (How can I be so sad and so happy about something at the same time?)  Since I had a pretty good idea of what they would be talking about in Jude's class, I felt like I needed to be at Finley's instead.  I was so thankful that Devin was there so that we could cover all of our bases!  I have heard AMAZING things about both of their teachers and I instantly could tell what a great year this is going to be after meeting them!

On Tuesday morning, I took Finley and Jude to meet their teachers during Meet the Teacher.  We were also having a MOPS Meet and Greet at the church so it worked out nicely that we could do both at the same place.

Jude went right in and played without any problem.  I knew he would do great since I was there.  He has been have quite a bit of separation anxiety lately and though he is usually fine as soon as he can't see me, he throws quite the fit as I'm leaving.  He has two classmates whose moms I know so that makes it extra fun!  His teachers, Miss Jeanette and Miss Karen, have been teaching together for over ten years so they work well together and have lots of experience with this age group!

Finley was dying to go in!  She was seriously so excited, but became super shy once we made it to her class.  I was completely expecting this and honestly it was super overwhelming even for me as a parent.  There were parents and kids everywhere as most of us were carting around more than one kid.

Her small classroom was filled so full that it was difficult to manuever.  Finley did great meeting her teachers, but quickly retreated to the very back of the room to play with some puzzles.  She usually does prefer to play independently when she is overwhelmed.  I know she is going to have a great year, but am still struggling to believe that she is actually in preschool!!!!!

Can't even fathom the picture next year with all THREE of them in school!!!!!!

Finley's Last Day of CDO 3's

 

Last Monday was Finley's last day of school this year!  I never can get over how quickly the year flies by.  I loved Finley's teachers this year.  She had Miss Penny last year and absolutely adored her so I was really excited that she had her two years in a row.  Miss Brandi was also her teacher this year and was just a sweetheart.

Even though I really enjoyed the other parents and Finley learned so much this year, I can't say this was my favorite year of MDO.  There were some things that weren't ideal, but I know that rarely will we have an "ideal" school year especially once we get into public school.

Next year, Finley will be in MDO three mornings a week and two afternoons a week.  I can't believe it!  She will technically be in preschool which is just crazy!  Jude will also start MDO which will be a real treat for him!!!

Anyway, here are pictures of Finley on her last day!

And here's a comparison of her at the beginning of the year and at the end of the year....

Biased...

Is SHE not the most GORGEOUS girl in the entire world??? Oh, my gosh!  This is her school picture and I just want to drool.  She is so beautiful!  Maybe a little older looking than I would like, but breathtaking regardless!

And then there is this little guy!!!!!!!  Oh, be still my heart!  His one year old pictures melt me with one quick glance!  HE is so darling!  Is he really mine????

Finley: Parent Teacher Conference 2012

So yesterday we met with Finley's teachers for her parent teacher conference.  I don't know why these always make me so nervous, but they do!  I was definitely more nervous last year than this year, but I still went in curious to see what they would tell us about our little girl.  It's kind of strange to hear them talk... to hear the things that we see on a daily basis with Finley and then those that we rarely if ever see because they have a different relationship with her and different interactions with her.

They pretty much just told us how great Finley is doing.  That she is smart and has a huge vocabulary for her age.  They also said that she interacts with the other kids well and that she is very sweet and loving towards them.

A few weeks ago, I went to pick Finley up and she was still sleeping so I had to go in and wake her up.  While I was getting her shoes on, one of the other kids in the class threw something and had to go to "Chill Out".  I laughed and asked Finley if she ever had to go to "Chill Out" and when she said "No" I laughed even harder.  Time Out is an almost daily occurence at our house so I didn't believe for a second that she wasn't getting sent to Chill Out at school, but Miss Brandi overheard and confirmed that Finley had never gone to Chill Out.  Of course, a couple of weeks later, she came home telling me that she had thrown playdough on the ground and had to go to Chill Out for it.  I love this stage where they actually fess up to getting into trouble!

So obviously, I am thrilled that Finley is doing so well at school.  I am glad that she isn't getting into trouble and that she is learning what she needs to and participating so well.  We received a whole printout on their High Scope curriculum that has observations of her meeting each objective.  I know it's just Mother's Day Out, but their program really is so much more than baby-sitting!

Devin and I also had a chance to talk to her teachers about something that we were concerned about and they were completely supportive and very understanding.  I was so relieved that it went so well.  As parents, we felt it was important to advocate for our child, but at the same time, we also don't ever want to be those parents who have unrealistic expectations or who think that their child is "perfect".  Thankfully, they had seen the same thing we had and agreed completely with the request we made.

So another year down.  I love seeing Finley grow and develop!  I love hearing all about her personality and how others find her as funny and endearing as we do!  They did mention that she is always the first to answer and though they thought this was a good thing, I fear that she may end up being that annoying kid who is the teacher's pet or who always has the right answer and doesn't let anyone else talk or get it right!  We'll see!  I *may* have been like that so I don't want to jump to assumptions, but do want to keep an eye out for it.

After naptime, I took Finley to get icecream at Braum's to celebrate her good report!  She loves, loves, loves icecream and it was such a fun treat for her!  I don't think she completely understood why she was getting such a yummy treat, but I just told her how proud of her we were and that we wanted her to keep doing her best at school and being such a sweet girl to others.  She was satisified with that... especially with chocolate icecream in front of her!

Festifall 2011-- My Lion and Cow

Finley's Children's Day Out Program has a big Festifall every year and we were excited to go again this year!  I love this event because it raises money for the school and is great alternative to other Halloween activities.

The weeks leading up to Festifall were a bit crazy as I helped put together two classroom silent auction items for the event.  This is what I get for being Homeroom Mom!  Ha!  It's actually fun, but they got a really late start this year so it was a bit fast and furious.

This is our class project that we did with the kids using their fingerprints to make a sunshine and then modge podging it all onto a canvas.  I LOVE how it turned out and was planning to buy it no matter the cost, but Kayde (Reed's mom) said she wouldn't outbid me even though she really wanted it because she knew how much work I had done on it.  I told her she better go outbid me and she did so I was really happy that she ended up with it even though I am sad it won't be hanging in my house.

We also put together a Carnival Themed Birthday bucket and it was way more work than it was worth.  If I'm Homeroom Mom next year I will do something very generic and very simple.  HA!

All the kids dress up for Festifall so this year, Finley was a lion.  She LOVES to roar like a lion and is constantly pretending to be one so it was an obvious choice.

This is her "ROAR" face!

Of course, I made it a bit girly with the tutu skirt, but she still loved it and was really excited to have whiskers on her face.  I didn't have as much time as I would've liked to make this costume so it did not turn out nearly as cute as I had in my mind (the orange was REALLY bright), but I still loved it and my sweet girl loved it as well so that's all that matters.

Jude was a cow and a very cute one if I do say so myself.  I made this in less than an hour and was literally pulling out seems about 10 minutes before we were set to leave because I didn't like how the batting between the onesies was looking.  It turned out so much better after I pulled out the batting and I was relieved that he looked so stinking cute!

I don't know if I'll be making costumes for all three of the kids next year, but if I do, I am going to have to start earlier than the night before they are to wear them! =)

Finley wasn't crazy about the games, but she couldn't get enough of the bounce house and the slide!  She had a blast on those and Jude was his usual laid-back self!

Finley's First Day of School 2011

Today was Finley's first day back at FPCE!  I was so excited to find out that her teacher, Miss Penny, from last year would be her teacher again this year!  She also has Miss Brandi who is one of the funniest people I've met at FPCE.  I am so excited for this year!

Hearing what the teachers have planned simply amazes me!  She will be rotating "centers" and will be responsible for moving her picture to indicate which center she wants to play at.  She'll have writing time, music time, Bible time, small group time, large group time, and will also be in charge of hanging her own artwork and putting her stuff in her own bag.

They are really working on their independence this year and I can't wait to see all that she is able to do by the end of the year!

And just for fun...

Goodbye FPCE MDO Young 2's!

Last Wednesday we said goodbye to Finley's Young 2 class.  I have her enrolled in a summer program and then she'll return to FPCE in the Fall, but this was her last day with Miss Penny and Miss Pam.  I admit I was dreading the goodbye.  I hate goodbyes and the connection and bond formed between Finley and her teachers this year has been significant.

Being fresh off of Girls' Weekend where Beth and I discussed how easy it is to project our feelings/insecurities/fears/etc. onto others, I made an effort to not approach the day as a "sad" one, but to just tell Finley it was her last day and that she needed to give Miss Penny and Miss Pam extra hugs.  I was thankful that she didn't fully understand what was happening and that she has always been so adaptable because I think if she had been really upset, I would have lost it.

Nonetheless, she did get it on some level.  When I picked her up, she was on Miss Penny's lap and Miss Penny said she hadn't left her side all day.... that she just kept running and giving her hugs.  Though Finley LOVES both her teachers, she definitely has a very special bond with Miss Penny!  And as the picture with Miss Pam shows, she was extremely pouty about leaving.

I am so so so thankful for these teachers and the influence they've had on Finley this year!  She has learned so much!  At the beginning of the year, she really didn't talk all that much and now she speaks in complete sentences, can spell her name, can match, knows all of her colors, knows all of her shapes, can sing the ABCs and about a million other songs, can identify some letters, can count to at least 15 and is starting to get one-to-one correspondence, has much better hand-eye coordination, likes sand (she hated it back in the fall!), can play with other kids, can SHARE with other kids, can tell me about her day and her "friends", can walk in a line, wait for her turn, and so so so so so much more.  Every day Devin and I find something new that she knows that we didn't teach her!

We will definitely miss Miss Pam and Miss Penny next year, but are so happy to know that they will still be with Finley at outside time since her class next year goes out at the same time!  Our decision to put Finley in MDO has been confirmed again and again so I am nothing, but grateful for our time there this year!

Here is a comparison of her first and last day of school this year!  CRAZY!

Here she is in the same outfit!  It was a dress in the fall and a shirt in the spring!!!!!

After school, I wanted to do something fun to celebrate.  I was planning on a zoo trip so that Finley could ride the train because she LOVES the train, but the zoo closes at 5:00 and the last train ride is around 4:30 and we didn't get out of her classroom until after 3 and then I had to feed Jude so we settled on icecream instead.  Finley clearly was not disappointed.  She loves icecream!

(I had to post this picture because it makes me laugh!)