Lbc: Week 36

Little Baby C {LbC} Pregnancy: Inch by Inch from 4 to 40 {weeks}

Trimester: 3 

How far along: 36 weeks (I can’t believe it!  At this point, they will not stop labor so he could really join us at any time!!!!!)

Size of baby: around 6 pounds and over 18.5 inches long (size of a crenshaw melon whatever that is!)

What is going on with baby: He’s shedding his downy hair and continuing to gain weight.

Total weight gain: +15 (it’s still fluctuating quite a bit… especially since I’ve been sick!)  I look HUGE in these pictures every week so I know that even though the scale doesn’t show it, I am indeed growing and so is he.  I’m just gaining weight in my stomach and losing it elsewhere. I do think he may have dropped...  it's hard to tell for sure, but it seems like I'm carrying lower in this picture.

Wedding Rings: Both still fit

Feet: I can still see them!  I do have to turn my head just right though!  One very interesting thing about me being pregnant is that I don’t tend to retain water.  I know a lot of women have really swollen ankles by this point, but with both of my pregnancies, I’ve been fortunate to not have this problem, which is odd considering how much I love salt!

Belly Button: OUT

Stretch Marks: Not that I can tell.

Linea Negra: Not yet.  Now that it’s getting closer, I sort of remember not being able to see it when I was pregnant with Finley until after I delivered her and then I could see it a lot better.

Maternity clothes: YES!

Food cravings: Mozzarella cheese with oregano on French bead… I indulged this week and even being sick, it tasted really yummy!

Labor Signs: Pressure, a few leg cramps, Braxton Hicks.

Sleep: Not good.  I’m having a hard time sleeping right now.  Part of it is being sick and not being able to breathe and part of it is waking up and thinking of all I need to do.

Weekly Appointment Update:  Starting this week, I’ll have weekly appointments until LbC makes his arrival. I am almost exactly where I was with Finley at this point.  She said I am a 1 pushing a 2 and 70% effaced.  With Finley at 36 weeks, I was a 2 and 75% effaced.  He’s also head down and in position, which was great news!  I really don’t want a C-section unless it is absolutely necessary. Devin came with me to this appointment because we knew we’d be talking about the birth plan.  We’re in the process of scheduling an induction because Dr. W will be out of town on my actual due date.  I definitely want her to deliver so we are going to schedule an induction before she leaves, but after examining me, she said she doesn’t think I’ll make it to my induction date. We also discussed the medicine she’s going to give me to hopefully prevent the postpartum hemorrhage I had with Finley.  She did warn me that even with the medicine, she can’t promise me that this won’t still occur.  The other thing she said that wasn’t too great to hear is that his lungs are probably not developed yet and that if he comes soon there is a good chance he will spend time in the NICU.  I am hoping he will stay in utereo as long as possible, but trusting that he will make his arrival when God has planned.  We are so excited that we will be meeting our little one soon!

Best Moment This Week: Really giving everything over to God.  I have had a rough couple of weeks, but the Lord has been working in my heart to just trust Him with all the details of life and I think being sick has given me some quality time with Him that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

Looking Forward To: Finishing some of the last touches this weekend and of course our next doctor’s appointment and meeting our son!

My Prayer This Week: 

Dear Lord Jesus, Thank You for the privilege of knowing You as my personal Savior and Friend. I praise You, because You are a great and wonderful God, full of love and care and understanding for each one of us. Lord, I pray that You will give me the most wonderful birth experience I’ve ever imagined. Be close to me from the time I go into labor and throughout. Let me feel You lift me up into Your love during each contraction. Let me know You are with me, helping and guiding my baby to be born. Give me strength and endurance. And Jesus, I pray Your holy presence will fill the room as my baby comes into this world. Let there be an atmosphere of joy and gladness, of peace and praise. Give me an awesome birth experience, one I will treasure forever. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Combating the What If's...

One of the worst parts about being sick is that I feel like I'm not able to enjoy my last days with Finley.  For two years and three months, it has been just the two of us and soon that will change.  It is an amazing change. A fantastic change.  But it's still a change and I have been wanting to bottle up these last days of mother and daughter time. (Though we already have plans in place to spend quality time with each of our kids separately after LbC's arrival...)  Feeling the way I do, it's hard to really be an active participant in our time together.  I am so praying for a quick recovery, but it's been a solid week and I'm still not much better.

With all this time on the couch, I've managed to succumb to a lot of "What If's".  My mind has been busy even if my body has not.  I think I've whispered "I trust You, Lord" about a million times these past few days.  I realize more and more the importance of guarding my heart and combating my emotions with Scripture.  

Here are just a few of my "What If's":

What if I go into labor feeling as badly as I do?  

"You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe.  Every day was recorded in your book." Psalm 139:16  (Somehow I think His day for LbC to be born has far more significance than my desire to have him when I'm feeling well!)

What if I don't have the energy to push?  

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me STRENGTH." Philippians 4:13

What if his lungs aren't developed (or other health problem) and he has to go to the NICU before I can hold him or what if I have to leave the hospital without him?

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

What if he isn't healthy?  What if he has something wrong with him?

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

What if my nurses aren't as amazing this time as they were with Finley?  What if Devin for some reason doesn't get there in time?

"And surely I am with you always even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20

What if there is a huge ice storm and we can't make it to the hospital?

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.” Isaiah 55:8

What if I have the same (or worse) postpartum complications with this birth?

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

What if he doesn't nurse well?  What if he has a lot of reflux?  What if he is colicky?

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16

What if he is never a good sleeper and I am left completely exhausted day after day?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

What if Finley begins acting out?  What if she doesn't understand why brother is taking so much time away from her?  What if she is mean to him, to me, etc.?

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:11

What if my quiet time suffers now?  What if I struggle priortizing God, my husband, and then my children?

 "Even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:10

What if I am not a good mother to two?  What if I can't give each of them the energy they deserve?  What if I can't make them both feel special, loved, valued, etc.?

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Basically, it boils down to this:

"Therefore I tell you, Do Not Worry About Your Life...." Matthew 6:25

and this

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning..." Lamentations 3:22-23

Our God is trustworthy!  I can trust Him.  He will be with me.  He will be with LbC.  He will be with Devin.  He will be with Finley.  He knows so much better than I do how everything should go.  

He doesn't deserve my "What If's."  He deserves only my TRUST.  My FAITH.  My LOVE.  My PRAISE.  

God calls us to pray specifically.  I have seen how when I pray specifically and when I pray God's Word, I can really see Him answering.  I can see how it changes me and I can see just how amazing His answers are. So I'm praying specifically that I will get better soon.  I'm praying specifically that LbC will hang on another couple of weeks so that his lungs will be fully developed and so I will hopefully be healthier.  I'm praying specifically that all aspects of his birth will rest in His hands and be fully glorifying to Him.  And I'm praying the above Scriptures whenever my mind wanders to the "What If's" in life because no matter how He answers these prayers I know He is faithful and His plan is always for my good.  

Our Not So Fun Weekend

So here's how our weekend was supposed to go...

Friday morning: Playdate with Friends
Friday evening: Fun Dinner Plans with Friends
Saturday: Spontaneous Baby Moon to Dallas to eat at my FAVORITE restaurant
Sunday: Church and a little Party in the Afternoon

Here's how our weekend went...

Friday morning: Playdate with Friends where everytime I spoke I had to ask myself if I had even made sense.
Friday afternoon: Take temperature... 101 degrees.  Call Devin.  Dinner Plans Cancelled. =(
Friday evening: On Couch feeling miserable
Saturday: Devin gets me lots of medicine and I lay on the couch thinking of all the things I should be doing.
Sunday: Wake up at 2:00 a.m. with an earache in right ear.  Instantly know this isn't going to end well.  Go to Urgent Care and am in the parking lot before they even open.

Doctor comes in.  Infection in my right ear.  Says she wants to put some drops in my left ear and evaluate it.  Also says to continue taking all the over-the-counter medicine for my sinus/upper respritory infection and that she'll prescribe me some Amoxicillian for my ear.

Nurse comes in and puts drops in left ear.  Pain is so severe that I begin bawling like a big baby and nurse freaks out.  Tries to get drops out and then attempts it again with same results.  Goes to talk to Doctor and comes back and says I can go.

I injured my left ear on our honeymoon.  Jumped off a cliff into the water and now have a hole in my eardrum.  It didn't heal properly so when she put the medicine in, it went into the hole.  The pain was so excurciating that I can't even explain it.  I'm still bawling when I get home.  I freak Devin completely out.  He immediately thinks something is wrong/has happened to LbC.  I finally calm down enough so that I can tell him it's my ear and then he immediately understands and is a bit relieved.

Spend the remainder of Sunday and today not being able to hear out of either ear, completely drugged, and pathetically sick.  I forget what it feels like to be this sick.  I'm miserable.

Thankfully, I have an OB appointment tomorrow and if I'm still not better, I'm hoping she can prescribe me something else.  Obviously, most doctors are reluctant to prescribe anything to someone who is pregnant, but I am so afraid this is going to linger for weeks.  I had almost the same thing when I was pregnant with Finley and my assistant principal actually sent me home even though I had been battling it for several weeks.  I was still that sick even on antibiotics weeks later.  I just don't want that again.

Enough of my whining!  I'm sad that our weekend was not the one we had planned, but obviously, at this point, I just hope to feel better soon and am so grateful to continue feeling LbC moving inside me completely oblivious to how badly his momma is feeling!