When I was snapping this picture of Finley who had somehow found an old compact of make-up hidden under my sink and had expertly applied the lipstick to her mouth area, I realized that I am constantly taking pictures of Finley making messes!
I am sure that I have the weirdest and most bizarre parenting philosophy ever when it comes to messes, but I am completely okay with her making them! Even Devin the other night said "I can't believe you are letting her do that." To which, I panicked because I thought I was missing something major when it just boiled down to the fact that he couldn't believe I was letting her make such a huge disaster!
I basically have 3 rules when it comes to messes:
1. She has to be having fun and learning through the process of making the mess... I do not allow her to make a mess because she is frustrated, angry, or throwing a fit.
2. She can only make food messes when she is trying to feed herself... food is not a toy and shouldn't be played with.
3. She MUST help me clean up her mess. Granted, she isn't really old enough to help clean up all messes, but we sing a song and she sits in my lap as we clean up.... ALWAYS... no exception.
{I also obviously do not let her make messes involving something that would hurt her or something of value.}
Why I let her make a mess:
1. What takes her 20-30 minutes to mess up takes less than 5 minutes to clean up. That 20-30 minutes buys me enough time to get ready in the morning, check my email, fold laundry, or get dinner started.
2. I am by nature a messy person. I may be a Type-A, perfectionist kind of girl, but whether I'm crafting, cooking, or even cleaning, it usually looks worse before it looks better. I learn through my hands and if I worry about keeping it all clean, I don't get the same experience.
3. My second-graders taught me many things, but one of the most important lessons I learned is that saying "No" all day long accomplished two things: 1. Complete tune-out by them and 2. Utter exhaustion for me. Finley does understand "No" and by only utilizing it when it's absolutely necessary, I'm hoping she will be more obedient to the concept of it!
As she gets older, we will have more conversations about messes... At this age, I think messes are important to her development, but as she gets older, she will need to learn when messes are appropriate and when they are not. My biggest fear is that she will absolutely destroy someone else's house... I definitely want her to be respectful of other's things!!!! So I'm sure the rules will evolve, but I hope that I will always see the value in
messy hands...
and messy lips.
2 comments:
That's a good philosophy! You should write a book. :) And remind me of this b/c even though I'm not AS type-A, I think I might stress over the small messes. Hopefully not....but reminders always help!
Although I'm not nearly as organized in my thought structure about allowing Bella and Lyla to make messes I have the same "philosophy" as you do on this subject. So funny to read you articulate it w/ rules and include every detail about it. I never once thought you would allow Finley to be in any danger while making a mess :)
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