Life with Two: Week 4

It's crazy to me that it's been a month since Jude joined our family!  It has gone far better than I had expected as so many people had cautioned me that adding the second is much more difficult than adding the first or the third.  In fact, one of my friends warned me to not plan anything for the first three months and just plan to "survive".  I obviously feel blessed to have two easy kids.  Finley may have a lot of energy and be spirited, but she is still pretty easy and Jude has just been a dream so far.

Anyway, this week was Spring Break and I was so excited!  I really wanted to just have a week at home where we could hang out and not be on a specific schedule.  The most difficult days in the last month have been the days when Finley has had school.  I felt in such a rush all day... rush to get everyone out the door... rush to run a few errands with just Jude... rush home to feed Jude and enjoy him a bit... rush to pick Finley up... RUSH, RUSH, RUSH!  I just felt exhausted on those days.

Next week, I'm returning to BSF and though I'm super-excited to see my group and to attend Leaders' Meeting, etc. I'm also a bit nervous as we will return to the busyness of it all.  I am hoping it won't be too much and if it is, I'm hoping I will be able to admit it to myself! =)  I don't like not being able to do it all!

So knowing what next week entails, I really wanted this week to be about time with my kids and I loved it!  I remember Spring Break growing up was all about pajama days and game shows on T.V.  It was never about going somewhere on vacation or anything like that and though I do hope to have a few Spring Breaks where we do take a trip or do something special, I also want to remember that sometimes the best family memories are created at home!

Because Finley is a bit too young for game shows and really enjoys doing things, we ended up getting out almost every day.

On Monday, our double stroller arrived and so we took a trip to the mall to test it out.  I let Finley play for awhile at the little play area.  It was a fun time on a rather dreary day.

On Tuesday, we ran a couple of errands, but mostly just enjoyed a day at home which was really nice.

On Wednesday, Aubrey and Claire came over to meet Jude.  Finley fell in love with them!  She kept running and jumping on Aubrey!  It was cracking me up.  That afternoon, Katie, Caroline, and Ian came over for a little bit which was also nice.  I forgot to take pictures of them, but I really enjoyed having playdates at our house and not having to go somewhere.

On Thursday, my mom's group met up at a park and spent the whole morning together.  Finley had a great time playing with all the kids and it was nice for me to get some adult time.

This morning we met Laura and Josiah at another park and let the kids wear themselves out!  Finley and Josiah play really well together so it's always an easy playdate when they are involved.

It has been a full week and a full month.  I keep filing each day away... trying to treasure this stage!  I can't believe

how fun Finley is right now or

how amazing it feels to hold a newborn in my arms.  I truly feel blessed!!!!

With that said, there have been difficult times this last month and I don't want to leave this summary incomplete, but I also don't want to seem as if I'm complaining.  The truth is that I am human and I'm learning as I go.  I've had difficult mornings where I was losing all patience with Finley because I wanted our house to be clean when people came over.  (Afterwards, I felt awful and realized that my relationship with Finley is much more important than a clean house and that it is also okay to say "no" when people want to drop by.)  I've had days where I just wanted some "me" time so badly that I let Finley watch too much t.v. in order to spend "precious" time on the Internet.  I've had nights where I was short with Devin because he came home later than I desired and I wanted his help with getting Finley to bed and help with caring for Jude.  I've had many moments of utter frustration because the gentleness of a 2 year old is not gentle enough for a newborn.  And of course, Finley is human too and though she is honestly doing amazing with all this change, she has had days where she hasn't gotten enough sleep and has been nothing but cranky, sassy, and defiant.  She's had days where she absolutely "needs" me to get her something, hold her, read to her, etc. as soon as I start feeding Jude.... "needs" that she never "needs" when I'm not feeding him.  Thankfully, Finley has never once shown any frustration towards Jude himself and I am so grateful!  I would much rather handle her moments of jealousy and irritability than for her to direct them onto him.

So no, not every moment is a fairy tale, but I wouldn't change any aspect of it.  I know things could be far worse and also this is an opportunity for us to learn together.  It's a chance for me to be less selfish, to manage my time more efficiently, to reprioritize, to open my heart even more, to train, to equip, to discipline, to listen, to adapt, to soothe, to reflect, etc.

If anything, my mistakes are making me more confident in my parenting...  I told Beth the other day that my goal was to stop justifying my parenting or what is going on with my kids.  I'm going to make mistakes and people will no doubt judge me for it, but what she helped me see was that they will also judge me for things that I don't think are mistakes.  I know why I do things the way I do and I need to stop trying to please others or worry myself to death over what they think of me as a mom or think of my kids.

Bottom line... I love where God has me right now.  He has me on my knees in praise and on my knees in need of His perfect wisdom and I wouldn't have it any other way!  Thank you Lord for an amazing first month as a family of 4!  May you be glorified in all we do!