The H Word

So I confessed to my small group Bible study today that my biggest fear about becoming a parent was figuring out what to do about Halloween and Santa Claus!  They all laughed, but it was seriously one of my biggest concerns.  

I grew up in fabulous Halloween costumes and leaving homemade cookies for Santa while still knowing that Christ was the center of my life.  I never questioned God's love because of a "Satanic" holiday or because there were Santas alongside the nativity scenes, but I also swore I would never make parenting decisions based solely on what my parents did (or did not do) or what others thought was appropriate or inappropriate.  After all, one of my biggest desires with parenting has been to be intentional and holiday traditions aren't excluded.

Last year, I was actually a bit frustrated that Finley was born before Halloween since she was due in November.  I honestly had in my head that I didn't need to worry about it until next year, but well, next year is now and I really hadn't done a lot of research until the end of September when I knew we would need to be making some decisions.

I went to Focus on the Family first just because I appreciate all the work Dobson does for parents and found that his stance is that there isn't a right or wrong and that even though his kids dressed up for Halloween and he feels it can encourage children's imaginations, he completely understands why parents don't participate based on their beliefs. There were a couple of books he recommended on the subject so I immediately checked them out of the library.

I laughed when the first book began this way:

"We are so proud of you! You walked into a bookstore, and in front of God and everybody, you bought a book that has the word Halloween in the title!  We won't ask if you hid it between the other really "spiritual" items you carried to the counter.  The point is you did it! (Either that or your mother-in-law sent you this book because she doesn't understand why you won't let her grandchildren go trick-or-treating.)"

This is sooooooo my life!!!!  Even though I knew Devin's parents would respect whatever decision we made, I also knew that they would be quite sad if our kids did not participate in Halloween as they have said many times that they just do not understand the problem with Halloween and Santa Claus conflicting with one's beliefs in Christ.  I don't disagree at all, but again, I didn't want to make the decisions based on my opinons.

My main concern was that I want Finley to dress up each year.  Ever the seamstress, I have always imagined myself making these super-cute Halloween costumes for my kids.  However, I also feel like God calls us to be set apart (Romans 12:2 and Psalm 4:3) from this world and I do not want our testimony hurt by us celebrating a holiday that many claim as Satanic.  I wasn't sure I could be impartial so I really wanted to read and become more informed on the subject.  BTW, from the beginning, Devin said he was okay with whatever I decided.  He wanted our kids to participate in Halloween and did not think that it was un-Christ-like, but he also wasn't going to be upset if in my research, I felt we shouldn't participate.

So along with my research, I start truly praying that God would give me a clear conviction on the situation and in reading Redeeming Halloween by Kim Wier and Pam McCune, I found a lot of answers I was looking for.  Apparently, Halloween started out as a religious holiday to yes counteract some of the non-religious activities...  it was meant to commemorate, contemplate, and confess Christ.  They gave great ideas for how to make this holiday about Christ and using it as a celebration of Him and not just a glorified dress-up day.  I also started noticing that God was putting people in my path... people whose faith that I truly admired... who celebrated Halloween.  It seemed like every time I thought "I wonder if so-and-so celebrate Halloween" I would find that they did.

So I talked to Devin and we decided that we would participate in Halloween... especially in the activities at church and Mother's Day Out.  Even though I felt good about my decision, I still felt a little weary about it.  In talking to Beth, I figured out why.  I am such an all or none person that I think I felt like I shouldn't be celebrating Halloween if I wasn't going to go out and I just couldn't for the life of me ever see myself putting up witches and goblins in my house.  (Not judging anyone who does this because most everyone I know does!!!!)  I am a fall decorator, but not a Halloween decorator.  So I'm using Halloween to learn that I don't have to be all or none.  Everything isn't black or white.  We can celebrate and not indulge in every aspect.  Who knows?  Maybe someday I will want to put out a jack-o-lantern or a friendly bat, but if I don't, that's fine too.

I know this is a really long post and probably shows my intense over-analyzing personality, but I hope that when Finley reads this in her baby book one day that she sees that I honestly wanted to make a Godly decision in every area of her life.  I don't want to do what I want to do... I want to do what Christ calls me to do.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, last year Devin and I agreed that Santa would be like any other imaginative character in our house so thankfully, that decision has been made and we are both fine with it.  We aren't going to ignore Santa or not read books about him or anything like that.  Santa will be around, but we still want to make Christmas about Christ and though I wholeheartedly believe you CAN do both, we're okay with keeping Santa with the ranks of Snow White and Cinderella.  

(And I want to add in that we are allowed to change our minds on any of the above at any time!  I feel very strongly that the issues of Halloween and Santa Claus are not right/wrong issues and are based on individual convictions.  Therefore, if we at some point feel convicted differently, we will intentionally move our family in another direction. =)