I can hardly believe it was one year ago that you came into our lives. One year ago that I became a mother. Even though I knew I would love being a mother, I had no idea how much I would enjoy being your mother. You are truly the sweetest baby I could have ever asked for and I find myself falling more in love with you every second of every day.
In the last year, you have changed more than I could have dreamed possible. You have grown close to 10 inches and almost tripled your birthweight. You have learned to smile, cry, laugh, sing, eat, drink, roll over, sit up, crawl, and even walk (with assistance). I admit that I'm a little relieved that this next year won't be quite so filled with constant change as I just want to bottle up each discovery, each new development, each new season of your life.
I just want to savor the way you smell, the way your hair sticks out from behind your ears, the way you squirm out of my arms when I want to love all over you, the way you peer out from behind things to get a better look, the way you dart directly to the cabinets underneath the sink or to the staircase when you think we're not looking, the way you laugh when you are crawling faster than we are, the way you are in a different position every night when I come to check on you in your crib, the way you make changing your diaper and clothes impossible because you are too interested in everything around you to lie still, the way you light up and hyperventilate when Daddy comes home from work, the way you grab your binky out of my mouth to put it in your mouth correctly, the way I cradle you when I put you to bed, the way you clap for yourself when you do something new or difficult, the way you examine big kids to figure out what they're doing, the way you say hi to everyone that passes us in the grocery store, the way you try to grab Pete or Jenny's tail, the way you smile, the way you sleep, the way you babble, the way you breathe.... I am so in love with you!
And even though I am so sad sometimes that you are growing up so quickly, I pray that I am growing just as much. That I am daily becoming what you need in a mother. Oh, sweet Finley, if you could only know how much I love you and how much I hate that I am destined to fail you as a mom and yet how I know that through my failings, you will find that there is One who will never fail you. There is One who will be the parent, The Heavenly Father, that your earthly parents will never be. May you love and serve Him all the days of your life!
And just so you know, you will always be my baby no matter how big you become or how much you grow. Because grow up you must and grow up you will and I'm determined to enjoy each part of it. I will cherish these moments with you and promise to leave no cheek unkissed, no snuggle unsnuggled, no hand unheld... These moments with you are fleeting and since I cannot keep you a baby forever, I will make the dearest and deepest memories that I can now while you are still actually a baby.
Happy 1st Birthday, My Dear Finley Ela!
All of my love and so much more,
Your Mom
To read last year's letter, click here.
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